#2233 . . . is that a whimper?

Christmas has come and gone. jade page press is officially 10 years old. This is my two-thousand-two-hundred and thirty-third post. I was thinking yesterday that I seem to have lost my blogging mojo, and maybe for good. If this is true, I am going out with a whimper, it seems, because I still like coming back to the keyboard and typing away when the fancy strikes.

I have tried not to be formulaic here. Certainly I have done different things with the blog, keeping some tags going from start until now and letting a few go the way of history. Most posts have kept with the promise of "a writing space . . . nan's musings on the mundane, music & more" - with a few possibly deep or silly thoughts here and there. I have recorded several chapter-lives of my life in these 10 years and it is sort of interesting to see shades of past-mini-lifetimes within this lifetime.

One thing I miss is the time when more people were blogging and reading blogs. There was much more communication and more of a sense of community. This was before there were so many social media outlets (or shall we say, brain-sucks). Even I tend to turn more toward a few quick plays with Words With Friends than to a read a more thoughtful or pithy blog post. These days, when I come here, I tend to just write for myself. I have a few friends who use blog feeds and they see when I have a new post. They will sometimes comment or email. Thanks, for that, you know who you are. Otherwise, my Google Analytics has registered more by-way traffic through Russian servers, likely meaning nothing more than spam traffic or trying to get me to "Vote Trump!" as my Analytics counter has instructed me on the Russian referring traffic URLs since September. Dear God, this world.

I still have my blog reader feed, and do not seem to visit my favorite blogs often  - a big change from my daily reading. My life has taken on some changes this past year. And the changes are not necessarily those things one blogs about. So the blog becomes the place where I can settle in and relax a bit. To place a marker on a song as the internet DJ from WJPP or to talk about a movie. I don't tend to post many family photos anymore (the kids are all growing up and I am keeping those pictures for myself.) I am happy to report that there have continued to be family gatherings, Nutcrackers, times with good friends. Instagram is the quicker place to observe, appreciate and share those images from daily life.

Poetry continues to be a great love, even if I read more than I write. (It's probably better that way, ha ha ha.) Music, and now playing my flute again, is a great love, and joining the concert band is probably the thing that has taken me away from blogging the most as I need to and want to practice whenever I get a spare 30 minutes.

2016 has been a really interesting and difficult year on many levels. Just thinking of the influential people who have died this year and now today the news brings us the death of Carrie Fisher and Richard Adams -- two people who brought me some pleasure with their entertaining gifts. I am finding it hard to have enthusiasm for 2017 in terms of the state of the world and the dawn of a difficult and threatening political era. I feel disappointment with a tinge of fear when I swallow.

And then I take a deep breath and remember to have strength of spirit to move forward. One step. Another step. And another. Smile. Even if you don't feel happiness at first or organically, that smile will create happiness or at least peace. It's true.

So, this isn't goodbye to the blog. On the other hand, I am not making any commitment to continue - or at least continue with any specific frequency or regularity. I have had blog friends who have quit for good (I miss them) and some who quit for a time and came back (I am glad). I may just go out with a whimper - blogging here and there - with gratitude for the space, but letting go of my former disciplined and enthusiastic self. As life's changes cycle through, I may come back here more often again. And who knows? I am going to a movie this afternoon (The Eagle Huntress) that I have been excited to see, so I may be back here tomorrow or the next day. (I am thankfully on vacation this week.)  For now, let's hum that sentimental favorite and keep it in mind:

for auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

And surely you'll buy your pint cup!

and surely I'll buy mine!

And we'll take a cup o kindness yet,

for auld lang syne