#2233 . . . is that a whimper?

Christmas has come and gone. jade page press is officially 10 years old. This is my two-thousand-two-hundred and thirty-third post. I was thinking yesterday that I seem to have lost my blogging mojo, and maybe for good. If this is true, I am going out with a whimper, it seems, because I still like coming back to the keyboard and typing away when the fancy strikes.

I have tried not to be formulaic here. Certainly I have done different things with the blog, keeping some tags going from start until now and letting a few go the way of history. Most posts have kept with the promise of "a writing space . . . nan's musings on the mundane, music & more" - with a few possibly deep or silly thoughts here and there. I have recorded several chapter-lives of my life in these 10 years and it is sort of interesting to see shades of past-mini-lifetimes within this lifetime.

One thing I miss is the time when more people were blogging and reading blogs. There was much more communication and more of a sense of community. This was before there were so many social media outlets (or shall we say, brain-sucks). Even I tend to turn more toward a few quick plays with Words With Friends than to a read a more thoughtful or pithy blog post. These days, when I come here, I tend to just write for myself. I have a few friends who use blog feeds and they see when I have a new post. They will sometimes comment or email. Thanks, for that, you know who you are. Otherwise, my Google Analytics has registered more by-way traffic through Russian servers, likely meaning nothing more than spam traffic or trying to get me to "Vote Trump!" as my Analytics counter has instructed me on the Russian referring traffic URLs since September. Dear God, this world.

I still have my blog reader feed, and do not seem to visit my favorite blogs often  - a big change from my daily reading. My life has taken on some changes this past year. And the changes are not necessarily those things one blogs about. So the blog becomes the place where I can settle in and relax a bit. To place a marker on a song as the internet DJ from WJPP or to talk about a movie. I don't tend to post many family photos anymore (the kids are all growing up and I am keeping those pictures for myself.) I am happy to report that there have continued to be family gatherings, Nutcrackers, times with good friends. Instagram is the quicker place to observe, appreciate and share those images from daily life.

Poetry continues to be a great love, even if I read more than I write. (It's probably better that way, ha ha ha.) Music, and now playing my flute again, is a great love, and joining the concert band is probably the thing that has taken me away from blogging the most as I need to and want to practice whenever I get a spare 30 minutes.

2016 has been a really interesting and difficult year on many levels. Just thinking of the influential people who have died this year and now today the news brings us the death of Carrie Fisher and Richard Adams -- two people who brought me some pleasure with their entertaining gifts. I am finding it hard to have enthusiasm for 2017 in terms of the state of the world and the dawn of a difficult and threatening political era. I feel disappointment with a tinge of fear when I swallow.

And then I take a deep breath and remember to have strength of spirit to move forward. One step. Another step. And another. Smile. Even if you don't feel happiness at first or organically, that smile will create happiness or at least peace. It's true.

So, this isn't goodbye to the blog. On the other hand, I am not making any commitment to continue - or at least continue with any specific frequency or regularity. I have had blog friends who have quit for good (I miss them) and some who quit for a time and came back (I am glad). I may just go out with a whimper - blogging here and there - with gratitude for the space, but letting go of my former disciplined and enthusiastic self. As life's changes cycle through, I may come back here more often again. And who knows? I am going to a movie this afternoon (The Eagle Huntress) that I have been excited to see, so I may be back here tomorrow or the next day. (I am thankfully on vacation this week.)  For now, let's hum that sentimental favorite and keep it in mind:

for auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

And surely you'll buy your pint cup!

and surely I'll buy mine!

And we'll take a cup o kindness yet,

for auld lang syne

love & mercy

A few weeks ago we watched Love & Mercy (2014) on Netflix -- the story of Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys. I think this is also on Amazon Prime.

I never realized what a troubled genius Wilson was and knew nothing of the story that was depicted in this great film. I always thought the Beach Boys were lightweights and their music was only known to be in the background via top 40 radio.

Wow. Enjoyable. (And, great performances by the actors.) I recommend. I had not seen the trailer before watching, and I actually think the trailer spoils it... so I only post the trailer reluctantly. I actually recommend you just watch the movie first. Your call. The trailer is: here.

images of the season so far

Thanksgiving seems to be further back in the rear view mirror than it really is. Once December arrives, the warp speed of things to do and work being busy make it tricky to remember consistently to be grateful for everyday moments. I am very excited about the holiday concert coming up on Friday, and every spare 30 minutes will be spent practicing. Today I am off to see my parents in their chorale concert about an hour and a half away. I do love the music of the season - especially the more orchestral and less "catchy" pieces. 

I am a bit of an Instagram addict as I try to observe, capture and appreciate small moments in time. Here are a few moments from yesterday (picking out the Christmas tree) and today (coffee by the tree and a brisk walk with a friend at the nearby nature center). For those who follow me on Instagram, you will see that this is a bit of a cheat post. Recycled content with a tiny bit of context. I have blogger's guilt for not being a regular writer here these days. I hope the writing mojo will return. Now, off to do the bills and get ready to travel for the day. Cheers.

a bit of tech support humor

I had a really nice visit with my parents yesterday. I spent a couple of hours providing some computer support for my mom (and just a little bit for my dad) -- recovering folders that had been dragged into other folders, dragged into yet other folders, and teaching how to send attachments again now that the Windows 10 upgrade "changed everything." At the end of our session, I showed my mom this video and she laughed pretty hard. We both agreed she isn't as bad as this... although I have heard the phrases "Slow down! I need to write this down; you are going so fast!" and "I didn't grow up with these things, you know." I always feel badly when we are visiting for a holiday or other occasion and we don't have time to just have a cup of tea, relax, and even spend time doing tech support (much easier in person than it is over the phone, trust me). It was a nice visit. Anyway, I was feeling fairly happy with my own level of technology expertise (and patience) yesterday and then woke up this morning to learn that someone in Armenia had hacked an important account. I spent this morning changing passwords and am hoping that there is no other damage. That's hubris for you. Enjoy your day.

o magnum mysterium

One of my current joys is playing in a very good concert band that rehearses one evening a week and offers four formal concerts per year (plus four to five informal summer band/ outdoor concerts in parks and on organization or church lawns). Our holiday concert coming up in two weeks will feature nine pieces, four of which are Christmasy. We are playing a concert band arrangement of this lovely piece embedded below, O Magnum Mysterium by Morten Lauridsen -- one of the Christmas-themed pieces. Seraphic Fire performs this really beautifully, and if I do say so, the purely instrumental is quite other worldly as well. Some of the favorites we are also playing include a traditional Light Cavalry Overture arrangement, Themes from Green Bushes for a bit of English folk song, and a fun piece called Danzas Cubanas. Off on a quick visit to see my parents today. Ciao.

a different kind of thanksgiving

Bad weather sidelined our plans to travel today. This is the first Thanksgiving in my adult life I have been in my own home - not traveling, toting contributions to meals and sometimes early Christmas gift's for my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. Sometimes I have cooked a Thanksgiving meal on Christmas Eve because I am a pretty decent cook if I do say so, and I enjoy cooking this meal. So, we quickly gathered what we needed to whip up a nice small Thanksgiving meal today at home. While the turkey breast is roasting, and nearly all the side dishes done and ready to heat, I thought I would do a quick post here to share one of my favorite Eddie Izzard bits on the topic of Thanksgiving, and a few more thoughts below.

I am truly grateful for many blessings. I am grateful even for enough worry and difficult times to recognize joy when I feel it. I am watching it all - aiming for equanimity.

Wherever you are, if you are reading this, good wishes for peace, love, and safety on this holiday of the very best intentions. I have many fond memories of this day growing up. In recent years, since blogging here at JPP, I have put to keyboard quite a few Thanksgiving thoughts and quotes. For fun sometimes, I search the blog on a word, and scan through my past thoughts. If you want to do the same, here is the search on "thanksgiving." Cheers.

thoughts on the sirens

The Writer's Almanac poem yesterday was one of my favorites. Read this through slowly and then again. It brought me to a few reflections, below.

Sirens 

by Billy Collins 

Not those women who lure sailors
onto a reef with their singing and their tresses,
but the screams of an ambulance
bearing the sick, the injured, and the dying
across the rational grid of the city.
We get so used to the sound
it’s just another sharp in the city’s tune.
Yet it’s one thing to stop on a sidewalk
with other pedestrians to watch one
flashing and speeding down an avenue
while a child on a corner covers her ears
and a shopkeeper appears in a doorway,
but another thing when one gets stuck
in traffic and seems to be crying for its mother
who has fled to another country.
Everyone keeps walking along then,
eyes cast down—for after all,
there’s nothing we can do,
and today we are not the one peering
up at the face of an angel dressed in scrubs.
Some of us are late for appointments
a few blocks away, while others
have the day off and take their time
angling across a broad, leafy avenue
before being engulfed by the green of a park. 

“Sirens” by Billy Collins from The Rain in Portugal. © Random House, 2016. Reprinted at The Writer's Almanac with permission.  

At what point(s) in life did I tune out the sirens? Growing up three and a half blocks from a hospital, I would hear the sirens, especially at night, of ambulances rushing to get to it. This was not every night mind you. I didn't grow up in a large city. But it was often enough.

I would pause and say a silent prayer, "go with God" to that person or persons in the ambulance and to the driver and paramedic. This exercise went on for about 10 years from that childhood bed before I headed off to college. I wasn't a particularly religious kid. Like most kids, I was just "me." I imagined that maybe other people did this too and together, we helped send some comfort, some hope. No one taught me to do that. It was instinctive. I guess you could say it was automatic, momentary spirituality. I would send a brief moment of imaginary light toward the ambulance. It was all in my head. (I played a lot with light there...)

During my first two years in college, I don't recall hearing the sirens. I was in a busy, happy place, (immature place) and it definitely wasn't the real world. Then, some friends and I moved into the small city nearby our university. When college students move off campus, they move into city neighborhoods, and the homesteads I had over the next couple of years into my grad school years could be described as student slums. I started to hear the sirens again, and my old habit returned.

As an adult in a small college town, I hear the sirens now and then. I mostly pay attention and say my little prayer. Sometimes my imagination gets the better of me and prayer turns to worry and empathy as I have an 18 year old who drives. And sometimes I hear the sirens and I am just too busy to say a prayer, to engage in other people's pain, to recognize what those sounds I am tuning out signify. They mean emergency, urgency, frailty of life. And I head to my meeting? Write a report? Get a cup of tea?

After this election, I hear the sirens. I say a prayer for the ones who need the life saving as well as for myself to keep listening. Keep engaging. I may have the privilege to go on with my ordinary life due to my skin color, educational level, decent job and socioeconomic status. (Then again, I may not . . . ) Please, let me keep hearing the sirens and let me not just get used to them as something ordinary and expected in this world.

the week of nothing good

I was so tired yesterday morning that I blurted out to Tom, "this has been the week of nothing good." I was referring to yet another great loss... Leonard Cohen. What Leonard Cohen song to pick? His new CD, recorded while he was very ill, in pain, and in retrospect so clearly dying, is very dark. While brilliant, I can't go there. So Sisters of Mercy? Suzanne? And of course, Hallelujah?

I decided to embed two songs below, in addition to the sneaky hyperlinks above. I really love Choir! Choir! Choir! and they did a great job with Hallelujah (along with Rufus Wainright who does a lovely rendition himself). And, I wanted to include a song about Leonard by Joni Mitchell. The two had a year-long affair and some great writing came from that time. (That Song About the Midway and The Gallery are both written about Cohen, and A Case of You - below - is largely believed to be about Cohen also.) Enjoy. Cohen's spirit will live on for a long time. 

concert band relief

In my previous long rant post, I forgot to mention that one of my joys continues to be playing with the Ithaca Concert Band. We had a concert back on October 23rd, and a recording was made of the concert. I am not sure how long this link will be active, but if you are interested, you can hear the band I am playing in! This is 45 minutes worth of music as they cut out most of the talking. Tracks 1, 3, and 10 in my opinion are your normal concert fare.  Track 2 is a fun piece called Hounds of Spring and it stuck in my head for days. The piece Of Sailors and Whales is a wonderful piece in 5 movements (Tracks 4 through 8) and then track 9 is Symphonic Gershwin - a lot of fun. Give it a whirl if you'd like: ICB 10-23-16.

in the words of samuel beckett...

I can't go on. I'll go on. 

It has been a tough four weeks since I have last written any words here. Between work travels, home responsibilities, and pre and post election obsession (must.detach), I have not had any blogging mojo at all. I have had more engagement with Facebook than usual, and I have found that to be connecting, helpful, and simultaneously addictive, frustrating and anxiety-provoking. I get most of my news online, and I can 't seem to stop reading article after article related to the election.

I was one of those people who knew a lot of people in the country wanted change, but never believed that those people would vote for a person who I described in a Facebook post on Wednesday morning, as a "thoroughly unprepared bully who has capitalized on fear, xenophobia, racism, anti-LGBTQ sentiment and misogyny..." While it is some tiny bit of solace that the popular vote went Clinton's way, it is no consolation to many of my friends and students to see emboldened haters who backed Trump and are now acting out in harassing and even violent ways while citing Trump as justification for their behavior. There have been people I have had to "unfollow" on Facebook for their ignorant gloating. I won't unfriend, but I certainly do not want to follow their crap. I am worried and hurt and angry. And I am all the more fired up to engage in expression and petition and participation.

We are in a very tenuous time in this country. Levels of anxiety are running pretty high. Like those in England after Brexit who wanted to send a clear message to those who are afraid of their rights being trampled and their physical and emotional safety being threatened, I will be wearing a safety pin on my clothing to identify symbolically that I am a person of safety. It's all I can do with my white privilege. Meanwhile, as a woman, I am truly frightened of probably 3 Supreme Court appointments in the coming presidency and what that means for our country - girls and boys, men and women alike.

Yesterday, on Veteran's Day, I was reflective of all of those who have fought for the country's ideals. I thought of women in the military, who face great rates of sexual assault and difficulty getting any justice or support after those assaults, and who now have a commander in chief who casually toss around phrases celebrating his ability to grab women by the ____. (I mean, can you believe that? It is bad enough that I have to hear that, but when I think of my mother, my young nieces? All the women and girls? I am incredulous and outraged that the sexism and beyond that, sexual violence many work so hard to reduce is being normalized on a presidential-political level? Unreal.)

I wrote this on Facebook yesterday: "I am gathering that people who voted for Trump did so for many reasons (just as I had many reasons for voting for Clinton)...and many of those voters are probably not bigoted or hateful or anti-woman (53% of white women voted for him...) yet they looked past Trump's outrageous rhetoric during his campaign - and before. Our country can't afford to look past that rhetoric now. For those that wanted economic change as their main rationale, we all need your voices now to let Trump know he needs to speak out strongly against his campaign sentiments that have emboldened haters. The voices can't just be from a "side." We have to be better than that. He can start on Veterans Day to walk back his hurtful remarks to a Muslim Gold Star mother this summer and his criticisms of highly qualified military generals and leaders."

On my campus we have already had some bias related incidents toward black students and women where Trump was cited as some sort of justification. His name is becoming some sort of hate-rallying cry by those celebrating his victory and what it means for their beliefs about others. Meanwhile, my across-the-street neighbors still have their Trump-Pence sign facing out on their lawn. Last election they had a Romney sign and we had an Obama sign. This time, when the Trump sign went up, we declined to engage. They know who we support. We are cordial neighbors. We would help each other out when needed (and have done so), and we thought for sure on Wed. they would be smarting at the loss and we didn't want to be those people to make them feel worse. Nope. I am the one who was crying at 2 a.m. and woke up Wed. with very puffy eyes.

This morning I read a hopeful piece in the New York Times that indicated that Trump is supportive of trans people using whatever bathroom they'd like - even at Trump Tower. Wonder what some of his supporters think of that. Some will be okay with it. Many will not. I am glad it is in writing, because who knows what he may say tomorrow. A man who can't handle his own Twitter account and who exhibits all the indicators of narcissistic personality disorder (according to my read of the Mayo Clinic definitions) is going to have access to our nuclear codes. He has shown himself thus far to be a violence inciting demagogue. I can't imagine he can change that accept in showing the world something different than we have seen for the past however many months - seems like an eternity. I am waiting for him to say something presidential - like he will work hard for all Americans - those who voted for him and those who did not (like Hillary said during one of the debates.) I am not holding my breath. Someone who appears to be a vindictive and abusive person is not likely to change.

So after this rant, and with the hope that democracy can correct things when things go wrong, I will leave you with a GIF in this following linked article that may help you slow down your breathing and calm any anxiety you may have. Breathe in and breathe out. It works.

I hope that my next posts will be back to the music and mundane. I hope to not have a month of just 6 posts again like the month that October was -- although since today is the 12th day of November, we may be hitting a new low. Time will tell. Have a good day. Peace out.

no mas, no mas

Thanks Jessica Hagy - thisisindexed.com

Offended? I think it goes beyond being offended. What fresh new misogyny has Donald Trump unscabbed, scraped open, and left bleeding? In my lifetime I never imagined people in this country would talk about repealing the 19th amendment - including creating a hashtag on the topic. I am surprised this deplorable (yep) and his followers know anything more about the Constitution or its amendments beyond a very limited understanding of the 2nd amendment.

Working in a field that seeks to eliminate gender discrimination and working to respond to and support people who have experienced sexual violence, I am beyond outraged - but sadly not shocked - by Donald Trump's personification of all that is wrong with rape culture. I always liked Barbara Bush, though I didn't agree with much of her party's approach, and she speaks for many when she asks how any woman could vote for Donald Trump. Beyond his thinly veiled racism, Islamophobia, and his atrocious comments on immigration in this country, his misogyny (we can't just stop at calling it sexism) and the support he continues to get from people, including women, in this country has not just shaken Michele Obama to her core. I sit here blinking in disbelief.  [I got called by a reporter this past week to comment on Trump's remarks from the leaked tape. I wasn't able to directly speak to her as my job title is administrative we can't as college officials engage in anything that will be perceived as partisan. SO, I shared the names of some faculty and students who could speak more freely and gave a student the sound bite quote I came up with that I think summed it up well: "we are working hard to reduce sexual violence, not normalize it." Hope that makes it in even if it will be attributed to the student.]

What Donald Trump has brought to the political stage is a direct threat to many - including the many Republicans who do NOT support him and who, despite political differences, are throwing their support behind Hillary Clinton, as the only qualified presidential candidate. Not just because I find Donald Trump to be a despicable human being who is consciously inciting violence against citizens who disagree with him or have identities that he finds unacceptable, but because I think Hillary has the experience, temperament and brains to be President, #imwithher.

As a side note, I have not posted anything political on my Facebook page this fall (though I have "liked" plenty of other people's things so I suppose my friends know exactly where I stand if they are keeping track of that kind of thing.) I try to keep things positive and pleasant whenever possible. I haven't unfriended the few people whose  pro-Trump or anti-Hillary views shock and disappoint me because I want to see and try to understand how others feel and why they might support someone as disgusting and unqualified to be president as Donald Trump. I suspect things like implicit bias, racism, and conditioning to hate Hillary Clinton are behind those emotional impulses. Lots of people throughout history have followed charismatic demagogues and bullies. It's truly frightening because we all know Hitler didn't do it alone. He emerged from a Democratic country. Curious to me is that I can still have fondness for these "Facebook friends" that I may have known and liked in high school or in a former job. If they had a sadness or a joy in their life, I would care. Yet, I shake my head and wonder how I can be friends with these people who would support a man who at a rally asked people to stand up based on their religious affiliation and made a joke that he might let them stay. Seriously? (First they came for the....then they came for the .... then they came for me.) That is completely un-American.

Odd, isn't it? How we can be so different and still, that thread of humanity is stronger. I would hope these friends might feel the same about me - because they "know" me - even if they realized I don't share their same beliefs. But would these folks extend compassion when the witch hunt is on against someone they don't know and see as "other"? All this said, if these folks (actually read: Electoral College voters) somehow vote Trump in, they may as well stab me right in the heart and persecute me as "other" for my beliefs. I wouldn't do that to them. True "Americans" understand that we must tolerate difference and must not infringe upon anyone else's human rights - let alone call for violence.

I am reminded of this great quote by Audre Lorde: "When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak." I hope we can all speak and listen - and that no one's speech (which in the Trump universe will become actions) will threaten the fundamental rights and freedoms of those they oppose.

of sailors and whales

Do you have 20 minutes for some imagination at sea? This is one of the pieces my band is playing next Sunday. It is called "Of Sailors and Whales" and was written by a great symphonic band composer, W. Francis McBeth, who was on the faculty at Ouachita Baptist University. This is a 2012 performance by the Ouachita Wind Ensemble in honor of McBeth who died earlier that year. Of Sailors and Whales is a really cool piece in multiple movements, and a lot of fun to play (and sing in one movement). Our concert will also feature a very fun Gershwin medley piece and two other more traditional concert band pieces along with the usual America the Beautiful and Stars and Stripes. Usually we play nine or ten pieces, but this and the Gershwin are both quite long.

Whine alert: I so wish I didn't have to travel for work this coming week so I could practice more. I could practice in the hotel room, but it would disturb others. (I am reminded that I used to practice between 90 min. to 2 hours a night in high school to the point where it would get on my mom's nerves and she would call up to my attic bedroom asking me to "stop all that toodling for the night." How many kids got asked to stop practicing? I don't think it was because I played badly... I was just relentless.)

bottle

Last night I drifted off to sleep streaming YouTube videos made by Kirsten Lepore (instead of watching the debates). These videos have made the rounds back when they came out, but they are new to me. Just amazing. This is my favorite. Comical, mesmerizing whimsy, thought-provoking and deep. Enjoy "Bottle".

green

Green. It's many shades comprise my longest-time favorite color. (Okay, there have been others, but green always makes a comeback and right now it's going strong.) Green is the title of two of my favorite songs. The first is by Joni Mitchell and is absolutely brilliant for many reasons. This one, featured below, by Edie Brickell is also brilliant in its own way. The lyrics are clever and the theme, universal. Edie sings a smooth enjambment over the lines that convey appreciation and jealousy as two sides of a green coin.

The grass is greener for others, right? And sometimes, we are more than certain that our grass is way greener than someone else's. Sometimes we can even envy different points in our own lives. When we wish away the present, we think the grass of our past was, or future will most certainly be, greener. Whenever I remember the wisdom and beauty of this song, I try to kick it back to the old "we'll see" parable. At least for this morning, I am trying to tune into this present moment.

Yesterday afternoon and evening we celebrated the life of a friend who recently lost her battle with cancer. She touched many people's lives. Today we are off to a wedding held at a church service followed by a reception. Sorrows and joys on a cloudy weekend. Trying to appreciate all of life's offerings. WJPP out, wishing you a good day.

woosh - and just like that.

September passed by like a flash of light. It was a warm and sunny month for the most part. We turned the furnace back on yesterday. The windows will stay mostly closed for the next six months. I will admit that I have to fight against the feeling of sadness that accompanies being kept indoors more. I know we will have some beautiful October days. I will relish them. We'll keep the deck furniture out for another week or so and then it will be time to put it all into storage for another long winter. I don't mind taking walks or hikes in cold weather, but it isn't the same as having access to fresh air on a regular basis.

The cherry tomato plants in the whiskey barrel are still producing tomatoes and flowers like crazy. I can't believe it. I have made fried green tomatoes twice and tomorrow may make up another big batch. It is too cold outside for them to ripen any more, and yet they keep popping out! 

Today I mixed up my first batch of artisan bread dough to rise and refrigerate. I haven't baked since spring, so that will be a nice scent to enjoy in the colder season. I lit candles for the first time last night too - and the glowing, flickering lights in the living room instilled peace and calm. Looking for the good...

Tomorrow I hope to get my flu shot. The memory of the flu last April despite being immunized the previous fall is still very fresh. It.was.awful. I know the flu shot takes about two weeks to kick in and I have some work travels coming up in a couple of weeks. Yes. It's time. 

We are having a catching up weekend. Staying in tonight to read and maybe watch an episode of one of my new favorites on Acorn network called William and Mary. It's new to me - a British drama that ran for three series back in 2003, 2004 and 2005. 

ára bátur

"Sigur Rós (English pronunciation: /ˈsɪɡər ˈrɒs/, Icelandic: [ˈsɪːɣʏr ˈrouːs]( listen)) is an Icelandic post-rock band with melodic, classical, and minimalist elements. The band is known for its ethereal sound and lead singer Jónsi Birgisson's falsetto." I really like this group. They are playing in Brooklyn this coming Friday and some friends are going. They have an extra ticket. This is one of those times I really wish I lived closer to NYC.  I have posted this group before, but it has been a while (2008? blog time flies).

flute-tastic and a few reflections

This morning was made for coffee and listening to Emma Resmini. While Emma isn't yet on the Wikipedia list of child prodigies, she should be. For whatever reason, wind instruments get a stingy side glance from those that deem who is prodigious and who is not. She debuted at the age of 10 (well actually at age 7, but at age 10 back in 2010, she started getting major attention). She is now 16 and studying at the Curtis Institute (the conservatory that recruited my grandfather, who declined the opportunity in order to stay home to work and raise his family.) I have been following Emma on YouTube for nearly six years now and she has developed further. What an incredibly fine musician she is! I am posting a couple of pieces for you here. The first, above, is a beautiful piece by Ian Clarke called Hypnosis. This was recorded two years ago when Emma was 14. The other, below, is a briefer piece by a composer I really like that shows Emma's incredible technical ability. Estländler by Arvo Pärt is a piece designed for unaccompanied flute. This was recorded last year when Emma was 15. 

I started playing the flute at the age of 9 and in some ways, grew up with flute players. There really is a diva thing that goes on with many flutists who have decent abilities. I couldn't stand it, actually, as much as I loved to play. When I would go to solo competitions, I would go off by myself to stay away from the "head game" girls and the "nervous nellies." I just wanted to play, do my best, and then have some fun. I mostly succeeded. Except for the part where others would be jealous of my good marks when the scores came out. I disliked and was hurt by the jealousy the most. For whatever reason, I was consistently first flute and I just wanted to have fun and have people like me. Again, I think I mostly succeeded. Walking away from all the flute stuff mid-college was  freeing and a bit sad at the same time.

Now that I am back to playing again, I am really happy to be playing second flute. I look forward to getting back (hopefully mostly) all my technique and tone. My new flute is a joy to play. I am even doing some duets with a woman who works on my campus for an event in a couple of weeks. Having a musical outlet, for me, is a way to pause other life stresses, be in the moment, and breathe.

Off to the day. WJPP here, signing out.

harvest moon lingering

Last night the moon was full and bright. At 2 a.m. I wandered out to the kitchen to get a glass of water and visible, shining ambient light through window glass of the dark house lit my otherwise dark path. It brought me that familiar comfort of the peace I feel when I see that harvest moon. I stared out the window for a few minutes before heading back to sleep that was at times peaceful and at times filled with odd, realistic dreams of other realities.

The full moon reminds us of cycles. Another cycle comes to completion only to begin its slow fade out to black again. I snapped a photo on my iPhone before I went to bed last night. The moon was only half-way up the sky then, and it just couldn't be captured by that camera. Better to just remember it in my mind's eye. Today is a beautiful, autumn day... not too cool, warming up to nearly 80 degrees later, and then cooling down again. The day is as clear as last night was in mirror image. Savor-time.

Enjoy the best song that comes to mind when I think of the Harvest Moon. Here's Neil Young on WJPP - accompanied by some nice images. Thanks, YouTube.

little miss foster . . .

Last weekend we went to see Florence Foster Jenkins. If you love Meryl Streep, go see it. If you think Hugh Grant is a fluff actor who has skated by in type-cast roles for most of his career, go see it (I did. He really can act, as it turns out.) If you love music and appreciate its power during difficult times, go see it.
And if you want to see Simon Helberg (Howard of Big Bang Theory) in a completely different, adorable role that makes the film, go see it. The trailers do not let on to the depth of this film. Based on a true story, set in the 1940s in New York City, this film was definitely worth seeing. Enjoyable with that old familiar feeling... life with tragedy all around, and still life, beautiful life, after all.

Post script: Meryl Streep really can sing. I am in awe of her acting ability.

a sun came

WJPP here, on a cooling Sunday morning as the cold front thankfully drifts in. Here is a song for you: A Sun Came, by Sufjan Stevens. It is short and sweet. You might want to take a look at the lyrics link and you might even want to play it twice.

9/11 prayers

It's been 15 years. I remember where I was. I remember the days that followed. The ache - then and now - remains. At the 10 year anniversary, I wrote this poem: layers of ash. At 15 years, all I have is a quiet moment of blinking. Love to all still suffering.