The Big Tent Poetry prompt this week was to play around with some poetry toys. I chose a toy called Erasures, where one selects part of a known text, and then randomly "erases" a chosen percentage of the words with a click of the mouse. I erased 60% of the words from a selection of Out of the Fog by C.K. Ober. Then, I erased 50% of the remaining words. What was left inspired this little poem. It was a fun and mysterious process. The poem emerged - after hiding in plain sight.
sailing into the gale
there was shouting
from the direction
of those willing to rescue
the horn blew
insistently
until all from the lifeboats
were accounted for
every survivor but one
was wrapped
in the warmth and relief
of the rescuers' blankets
yet one lay barely
clinging to life
and they didn't
understand his resentment.
Copyright © 2011 Nan P.
16 comments:
I like the way your poem came out...especially the part about the relief brought by blankets.
This was such a fun prompt. I got carried away with the visu words website, but haven't tried the erasures yet. I was trying to find the poem you started with by googling it, but can't find it...yet.
Thanks Jeanne! I think the passage I "erased" was from a book - not a poem. The link is here: http://www.wavepoetry.com/erasures/erasures.php?poemid=2845. I think you can see the original text by clicking on a link in the right-side bar.
That last line is truly earned—great line.
Tight, direct, great allusion, love the ending.
ooh! so glad you like the ending. That last stanza came entirely from what I imagined from the borrowed words of the erasure. I took a lot of latitude with the few words that remained, and was then curious to go back and read the whole passage. Link to the erasure is above for anyone curious to see how this cool site works.
Nan, love the results of the erasure. The ending is powerful.
Pamela
I like the action of the first two stanzas, which throws into contrast the comfort and resentment of the last two stanzas. Nicely done.
Interesting way to use the erasure process. Instead of just removing, you removed then wrote new work inspired by the removal. Another good way to use the tool!
First part sets the scene...last stanza get the mind wondering. Clever construct. Vb
I love the way it turned out... I'll have to try that toy next.
~laurie
Very interesting! I really enjoyed what you did with this. Maybe I'll go back and try it again.
A splendid result. I shall forthwith go back and try that exercise again, unlikely though that seems after the drivel I got from it!
Thanks for the link...I really enjoyed reading your poem again along with the original piece. It is thought provoking to look at them together!
You did great...!!
Here is mine:
homing
Whoa! that last line,simple and very powerful.
Really enjoying reading the results of these poetic transformations. Quite the tale yours turned out.
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