The Big Tent Poetry prompt this week was once again seven different prompts for those dedicated poem-a-day-in-April writers! I picked just one. I wrote a poem that starts, “It’s not true that ______.”
what isn't true
It's not true that she could remember
every phone number for every place
she'd ever lived, but she could remember
three or four – and now that she has
a cell phone, she won't ever have another number.
It isn't true that she could remember
every kiss or embrace, but for certain
she did remember five or six – and now
that she had been married for more than 50 years,
she knows she will never kiss another.
It's not true that she could remember
every job she'd ever worked, but several
roles stood out as important or
fulfilling, and now that she is retired
she misses the grind and exhaustion.
It isn't true that she could remember
the plots of every book or movie
she read or saw, but she did remember gestalt
emotions of liking this one or that,
and she knew quality when she could feel it.
What is true, is that despite the slipping recall
for details, her organic memory of feelings
-- the very state of being in one present moment --
was real enough to make up for what might
otherwise be missing.
Copyright © 2011 Nan P.
12 comments:
What do you think? Should each of the first four stanzas start the same with "It's not true that..." or do you like the alternation of that with "It isn't true that ..." (I can't decide which is better.)
Repetition is effective in poetry, but so is the use of an alternate way of saying the same thing.
It works either way. No hard and fast rules in poetry: the poet is king. I love your examples of things this old woman can remember and not remember. You've hit the nail on the head.
Either way, it is true that memories fade, emotions get stronger.
I love it just the way it is... very poignant piece.
~laurie
Oh my gosh...you wrote about me!!! Especially the ending. Ha! Thanks, Nan, for another nice piece!
Nice, Nan. Smart, entertaining, with an easy, comfortable flow.
I rather like the repetition; however, I think it might be more effective if you didn't start each verse with that phrase . Perhaps those words could be embedded in the verse--or use in the first and last verses. Play with it.
I think this is lovely and the repetition of the lines makes me feel that funny rhythm of being lost in a thought...I think it was fitting to the poem.
I think it works well the way it is...and ties the whole wonderful piece together. Vb
Oh, this is delightful. I like it as you have it.
It's wonderful just as you have it, and your last stanza wraps it up so beautifully.
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