the where the now

I have been writing in this space for heading on six years, and I don't think I have ever taken more than a two-week break from blogging, so I am jumping back on the horse and putting up a post today. A couple of people were kind enough to check in with me via e-mail to make sure I am okay. Thank you. I am okay.

How have I been spending my extra time outside of my work lately? I have had the drive to get healthier recently. So in addition to cutting back on my daily spoonful of Nutella (that's right folks, one heaping teaspoon can lift me only so high), I have been exercising with more regularity. Back when I was a fairly active teenager, I used to watch the old ladies who played tennis. They had kind of bumpy legs and sun spots and wrinkles, but they were fit and happy. They were smart enough to play in the cool mornings or cool evenings, and never in the hot sun of midday. I thought to myself back then, I would like to be one of those old tennis ladies some day.

Recently, I realized that my karate days are behind me, and if I am to have old lady tennis days ahead of me, I better start taking care of bone mass and weight bearing exercise NOW. Tom encouraged me to start bike riding to add some variety to my ordinary routine of reading while on the elliptical, and complaining that going to work out is like going into the death chamber. I am kind of afraid of big dogs jumping out at me while bike riding, and I am a bit weary of bigger vehicles or texters who may drive past me, so it has taken some mental fortitude for me to get that helmet on and get out there. But I did it two times this week, and I think I can get back into this routine. I had this recollection of riding by myself when I was about 16 or 17 years old from my parents' house to a small lake just outside of our small city, and in my mind this was a 15 to 20 mile round trip bike ride that I ventured out on by myself without telling anyone. I know, daring, right? I just mapquested it and found that it was a less than 6 mile bike ride (one way). That realization deflated my tires a few PSI. Still, I plan to get out there more. On my wish list... one of those nice comfort seats (or as I used to make fun of them... those "big-ass seats"). Taking the bumps isn't as much fun as it used to be.

One thing about bike riding that I am appreciating is the requirement that the rider pay attention. While on the elliptical, I try to dive into my book and NOT pay attention to my workout... to ignore the workout to get through the time. That is a good thing sometimes. It is also fun to go over new ground, to keep a lookout for birds that might fly up from field grass to a tree when you ride by. Where I live, it is not far from rural, bucolic lands -- so today I passed a farm with a cow and some chickens just walking around. I like to look at an old, uncared for house and envision it in its original charming state, and then  imagine it all fixed up and cared for again. You can't get that kind of experience without paying attention and seeing new things with fresh eyes. I hope to keep riding, at least once a week.

Other than that, I have read several books recently, including An Altar in the World: A Geography of Faith (Barbara Brown Taylor), Border Songs (Jim Lynch), Work Song (Ivan Doig), twenty or so more short stories and poems from the Vintage Book of American Women Writers (ed. Elaine Showalter), and right now I am reading Kathleen Norris' The Quotidian Mysteries and Jamie Ford's Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet. I am also reading poems from Nikky Finney's Head Off & Split. I also trimmed the shrubs and am getting ready to plant flowers. This insular couple of weeks has been "generating" for me.

Also looming large on the list of what I have done in the last couple of weeks is that I decided to submit my letter of resignation to my old work place of 20 years effective August 15, 2012, the end of my leave of absence, and to stay with my current not-for-profit work. It was a big decision. But sometimes one has to  trade a lead role in the cage for a walk-on part in the war (a twist on a lyric from the song Wish You Were Here in case you didn't catch the metaphorical reference.) I think I had done everything I could do in my old position and was at a dead end in terms of personal growth and development. It would have been easy to return to it, but I know it would not have been good for me. I am casting fear of the unknown aside and am trying to be ready and open to the next chapter, wherever it will lead.

Oh, and I forgot to mention baseball! We are watching a lot of Matt's baseball games lately. He has recovered from the winter's snowboarding fractures (right wrist and left shoulder) enough to be cleared to play ball. He is on his school team, which will wrap up its season in a couple of weeks, and then starts the summer league. I do enjoy watching baseball games.

So, that is my loooong update. Life is good. Beauty is everywhere. Laughter is around the corner.