weekend meanderings

I apologize to anyone who stops by for poetry... because lately I have been "all up inside my head," and not writing much. What I have written, I haven't posted here. Anyone who may stop by for a bit of "the everyday," will hopefully enjoy some photos snapped yesterday while out for a cross-country ski on a very cold, but fairly sunny winter day.

Yesterday was dedicated to all recreation and no work. One of the reasons I did that was to keep my mind off worrying about our teenager who was on a trip five hours away with his friend and friend's family . . . snowboarding on a tremendous mountain and taking a bobsled ride and generally being more independent of his own family unit than usual for the weekend.

Parenthood is a dance of holding on tightly, holding gently, and letting go. Was I delighted (and terrified) to get a text from him yesterday morning with a photo from the summit of White Face Mountain? Yes. I was overjoyed at his wonder and at his experience. Was I incredibly relieved when I got a text from him at days' end when they were on the shuttle back to their hotel after a good day on the mountain with no injuries? You bet I was. And so it was with this relaxed relief that Tom and I went to see a movie and then had dinner at our favorite cinema and one of our favorite restaurants.

We saw Philomena. It was beautifully done, and I knew it would break my heart and also give me some sense of hope (it did both). Judi Dench is amazing, and Steve Coogan was really good too. I recommend this movie not only because I feel it is critical that people know the truth of what happened to so many young women (not just in Ireland, but right here in the U.S.) and also, to educate people on adoption and what it means to be truthful in adoption situations to minimize its inherent losses -- losses for each in the adoption circle. Pain doesn't go away over time as some naively may have believed in the past. Relinquishment of a child should not be "punishment" for some so-called transgression.

Are some adoption situations necessary? Yes. They are today as they have always been, and adoption is a solution, albeit usually a very sad one, for those that are not in a position to parent and it is a joyous fulfillment for people who long to become parents through adoption. I believe adoption should be respected as a valid and courageous reproductive choice, and that it must be a voluntary, almost always painfully difficult, decision on the part of the biological parent(s). And when an adoption situation is necessary, it should be approached with kindness, truth, and in treating all with the dignity that all human beings deserve -- and that includes those persons who were adopted, their first parents, and their adoptive parents. Acknowledgement of pain paves the way for great joy in life. Doesn't every human being deserve joy and respect? Anyway, please see the movie if you can. Bring some tissues, but also be prepared to laugh. I found the experience of this movie to be very much like life itself. Anyway, since I did no work yesterday, I have a number of chores to attend to today. You know what? It's all okay. And when the boy walks through the door later today, all will be right in my world. Enjoy what remains of your weekend.